Source

What is the source of my present experience?

FORGIVENESS  |  MEMORIES OF YESTERDAY  |  THE ESSENCE THE WORD SOURCE (FEAT. BENTINHO MASSARO)  |  RETURN TO NOTHING |   COMPLAISANCE  |  CONSUMED  |  THE SERPENT  |  QUADRANT  |  VEIL OF DOUBT

FORGIVENESS

I’m born, thrive and die

All at the same time

Been killed so many times now

The truth can’t be disguised

I am the condemned, the noose and the executioner

The bullet, the victim and the slaughterer

The incantation, the wand, the sorcerer

The sword, the audience and the swallower

Simultaneously

Can you feel the pain

As the life drains from my eyes?

The pain you feel is yours

Its the pain of suicide

I forgive you for destroying me

Can you see the light

As the wonder fills my eyes?

The light you see is yours

Its the reaction to your fright

Because every time you kill me

We see our indestructibility

Birth, life, death,

Rebirth, life, death,

Rebirth, life, death,

Rebirth, life, death,

Rebirth, life, death,

Rebirth, life, death,

Rebirth, life, death,

Rebirth, life, death,

REBIRTH!

Can you feel the pain

As the life drains from my eyes?

The life you see is yours

The pain is suicide

I forgive you for destroying me

Can you see the light

As the wonder fills my eyes

The light you see is you

So don’t look so terrified

Because every time you kill me

We see our indestructibility

MEMORIES OF YESTERDAY

(This song is dedicated to Ann Loomis and the work we do together)

I’m dreading the break of day

When memories fade away

I know what you’ll say

I know you can’t stay

My heartache’s here to stay

The burning just won’t fade

Memories of yesterday

Slowly slip away

It’s so hard to master

Judgeless witness

I’m going to the center

To let myself become this

Consumed by the burning

Swallowed by the yearning

I can never fill this

I can only feel this

I cannot fight this helpless vortex

Suck me up, swallow me whole.

 It’s so hard to master

Judgeless witness

I’m going to the center

To let myself become this

Consumed by the burning

Swallowed by the yearning

I can never fill this

I can only feel this

I can never feel this hole

I can only feel this pull

I can never fill this hole

I can only feel this pulling me to pieces.

THE ESSENCE

I see that the essence

Of everything is that it is

It is harmless, it is so benign,

It is meaningless till we add the mind

I will play with all the sand,

Making castles and destroying them

It is all I want, it is all I know;

To create the world and then watch it grow

The pain is the same

As the pleasure on this level.

Don’t lose yourself

Don’t lose yourself

Give yourself to the essence

Surrender to sensation

Little pieces breaking

Falling from my throne

How’d I find myself here?

Take me to my home.

When the light of day

Seems so far away

Just give yourself to the essence

And the space between

What we are and what we see

Vanishes Instantly.

THE WORD SOURCE (FEAT. BENTINHO MASSARO)

Let’s have a look at the word Source

The word Source means that it’s not whatever you see

But that it’s the source OF whatever you see

The very word source implies that you can never find it

For whatever you find is not it

It’s the Source of whatever’s experienceable

So simply ask yourself “What is the source of my present experience?”

RETURN TO NOTHING

The barren wasteland

Is the keeper of secrets

The key to the deathless

The door to the seamless

What was I before I was

A thousand eyes and one?

What is the source

Of the roots of perception?

As the night of Brahma comes

Swallows up everything

There is life in the darkness

And the day will dawn again

This is the nature

Of eternity

This is just a fragment

Of infinity

Someday I will return to nothing

I will return to nothing

Everything turns to nothing

And I will return to nothing

Someday I will return to nothing

Everything turns to nothing

I will return to nothing

Everything will return to nothing.

COMPLAISANCE

Locked down, fading, helpless,

Dragged down by the claw

Waiting, patience draining,

I can’t take this anymore

I’m freeing myself of

The burden of needing

My only sovereignty

Is choosing my being

Will you take my hand and

Guide me to the wall?

I want to look over

The edge and take the fall

The state is always chosen but the

Decision is always mine to make

When I’m tied and frozen

There is no one but myself to blame

This is my creation and I

Made it so I could come to know pain

As I stand here crying I

Realize that I enjoy the rain.

I’m freeing myself of

The burden of needing

My only sovereignty

Is choosing my being

Flying as I’m drowning,

No difference anymore

Satisfaction is all

That I can control

CONSUMED

Curiosity innocently playing

Wanting to see all the shapes created

Judgelessly consumed by it’s own creation

Fearlessly unmoved, free of hesitation

All that is approved by its very nature

All embracing your innocent behavior

Guilt belongs to none, every thing is done by

All that is The One

THE SERPENT

You need this

It’s all for you to receive this

I’m telling you, you deserve this

We’re healing you, don’t reject this

It’s not too good to be true

The patterns on the floor

Plastered to my eyes

Now begins the show

A spectacle of sight

She will take her toll

She shows you your insides

It’s something to behold

She shows you it’s alright

The serpent

Is eating you to digest you

Purify your delusions

Piercing you and preventing

Your nourishment

The patterns on the floor

Plastered to my eyes

Now begins the show

A spectacle of sight

She will take her toll

She shows you your insides

It’s something to behold

She shows you it’s alright

Drink from

The river of the vastness

Holding you and supporting

Your position, embracing

Your entirety

The patterns on the floor

Plastered to my eyes

Now begins the show

A spectacle of sight

She will take her toll

She shows you your insides

It’s something to behold

She shows you it’s alright

QUADRANT

(This song is dedicated to my parents, thank you for showing me what it means to be a human being. It is also dedicated to Alicia Patterson and Ann Loomis for providing essential support in the creation of this song.)

I can hate you, blame you, curse your name

Say that things won’t be the same

I’m leaving. You’ll never see me again

This is goodbye my friend.

If I don’t feel the hate

I will just invalidate

The terrified screaming babe

The weeping child who’s been betrayed.

Discerning all of my sensations

Turning ‘round to face within

I’m hoping I can find the patience

To hold this without caving in

I’m earning all of my redemption

I’m paying with my suffering

I’m making pain to justify this

Atone for my unconscious sins.

Looking into your eyes

Hoping I can find

Someone to help me survive

Someone to keep me alive

Hold me in your arms

Please won’t you keep me breathing

Give to me all your fears

Tell me how I am wrong

Show me what it means

To be a human being.

Human Being

VEIL OF DOUBT

I can see you walking through the forest in a landslide

The veil of doubt has shrouded you from seeing your potential

But you can’t escape your destiny, there’s nothing that you can do

To stop the cloud from bursting, to stop the dam from breaking

To stop the wave from crashing, to stop the sun from shining

I hear your voice calling me, its beaconing, Its whispering, It sings:

Can you follow me into the darkness and the light

There is no need to let fear of pain keep you from living life

But how will I survive if I let you see my insides?

I am so ashamed of all the things I’ve spent my life trying to hide

How could you ever look at me with so much love in your eyes?

I want to see what you see but I don’t believe that its right

But I’m so tired of holding on and shielding myself

From the things I want because I am so terrified of losing them

I’m letting go of any place where I’m convinced I’m right

I’m ready to see the darkness is embraced all the time

Well freedom is not painless but it sure is paradise

I am feeling everything because its all a part of the ride.

As it softens, its deepening.

Contact Source

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